


Completely Alone

by ghostbursoot (stargutzz)



Series: Tales of the DreamSMP [4]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, im so fucking emo over this stream jesus, smp! dream at least kinda being a decent person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:15:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27908068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargutzz/pseuds/ghostbursoot
Summary: !! SPOILERS FOR TOMMY'S DECEMBER 5TH STREAM AND THE EVENTS BEFORE IT !!Tommy can't help but feel so lost. So alone. He doesn't know if he can cope with it.Based on the most recent stream, delving more into Tommy's character thoughts.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Tales of the DreamSMP [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023966
Kudos: 219





	Completely Alone

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn't read the tags, a HUGE warning for s//cidal thoughts, this is honestly really sad I just wanted to go more in depth with what happened today. Please proceed with caution! Ily all I hope you enjoy.

Tommy was alone. 

Literally, no, he wasn't entirely alone. Wilbur came with him when he was exiled, and stayed with him as they built their little base. But Wilbur's a ghost, a ghost with no memory of the pain he's caused Tommy, the pain he's caused in their family. Tommy still hasn't entirely forgiven him yet. Not to mention that as soon as Wilbur gets upset with Tommy he can just leave, and never come back. 

Tommy got visitors, but not the kind he was hoping for. Bad was nice enough at least, giving him a gift to help out some. He didn't appreciate it though until Dream blew it up. 

The only visitors that came were only there to bully him. None of his actual friends have come to visit him. 

Tubbo hasn't come to visit him. 

Part of Tommy doesn't expect him to. He feels awful for what he did to Tubbo, and just wants his best friend back. 

Tommy sighs as he gets out of his mine. This isn't the time to think about this. He needs resources. 

He starts wondering around the area, Dream and Sapnap behind him cracking jokes, generally just poking fun at him, when he finds it. 

The remnants of a Nether portal. Tommy starts to feel a great amount of hope, hope that he immediately hides. Can't be suspicious. 

"Dream, can I go to the Nether?" He asks as Dream and Sapnap catch up to him. 

"Well, yeah, as long as you don't go through any of the other Nether portals, I don't see a problem with it," Thank god he doesn't think much of it. Tommy immediately runs back to his mine, grabbing as much obsidian as he possibly can. He drags Wilbur with him as he goes back to the ruins. 

"Wilbur- Wilbur, watch this," Tommy forms the Nether portal and feels so much hope, happiness as the possibility of him seeing his friends again grows. He goes through. 

He doesn't recognize the area at first. It's high up surrounded by netherrack, but once he's able to get down he sees the bastion, he sees the basalt that was so close to the portal. He sees a part of home. 

He gets over there as fast as he can. He runs through the hot, uneven terrain and climbs up the steps to the portal. 

Dream and Sapnap were behind him, though. 

"Tommy, you can't go through, you know that," Dream puts a hand on his shoulder, one that Tommy pushes off instantly. Sapnap and Wilbur go through, talking about the Christmas tree near the community house. 

"I- I can't even go to see the tree..?" Tommy's voice broke. He tries his best to keep up his normal composure, even when Dream shakes his head. 

"Can I at least spend Christmas there..? With my friends..?" Dream thinks for a moment at Tommy's words, and a simple "Maybe," comes out of his mouth as he goes through the portal, leaving Tommy behind. 

As much as Tommy would like to believe Dream, part of him knows that he's probably not gonna be able to spend Christmas there. 

Tommy sits beside the portal. He starts to think. 

He really, truly is alone. No matter how many jokes Wilbur and him crack about Logsteadshire, no matter how many presents Bad brings him, and no matter how many visitors he gets, he won't ever go back home. He won't be able to run around the smp with Tubbo, he won't be able to pester and prank Fundy, and he won't be able to be stupid with Quackity. 

No parental scoldings from Phil, no freshly baked pastries from Niki, no new adventures with Ranboo, no making fun of Dream and Sapnap and George. It's all gone. 

He can't take it. He can't take being alone. He can't be without his friends, he's not gonna be able to make it without them. 

Tommy gets up. He walks to the pathway from the portal, looking over the edge to the ocean of lava below. His heartbeat starts racing. For the first time since being exiled, his hands are shaking. What's the point in it if he can't see his friends again? What's the point in starting back at scratch when there's nothing to work towards?

Half of Tommy's feet were now off of the ledge. Just one tiny gust of wind, one smidge of lost balance, he would be gone. Maybe he could turn into a ghost and come back. Ghostyinnit, he chuckles at the thought.  
He wipes the hot tears from his cheeks. He didn't even realize he was crying until he started to feel the tears start to evaporate from the hot climate. Strange, how it all works. 

Tommy wonders what would happen if he just stepped off. He wondered what Tubbo, his best friend would think when Dream would come back telling of a missing Tommyinnit, eventually after searching realizing he could only be dead. He wonders if Tubbo would be sad. 

He wonders what Phil would think, being left with only one child alive. How he would think if his youngest son was just gone. 

Would they hold a funeral service for him, like they did Schlatt? Would they celebrate his death instead of mourn just like they had done with the late ram? Or would his death go forgotten, so they all can just move on from it, to move on to their next adventure. 

Maybe this is the better option. To live without friends for the remaining days, or to get it over with now and let them mourn and move on. 

Suddenly, Tommy feels a shove from the side, sending him to the middle of the path. Before him, stands Dream. 

"God, we should really put rails on these..." He mutters to himself as he patches up the gap that Tommy was standing over. Once he finishes, he kneels down next to Tommy. 

"It isn't your time yet, Tommy," With just few words, Dream extends his hand out to help Tommy up. With a shaky hand, he takes it.  
"Come on, we're going back now," It's weird, Dream doesn't sound aggressive. In fact, he hasn't since he led Tommy out here. He sounds caring, and kind. Why does he care now? Now that he's taken everything from Tommy, he finally feels the need to be a decent person? Tommy can't wrap his head around it. 

He feels numb as Dream leads him back through the terrain. Not much else enters his brain as Dream drags him by the arm. He keeps looking over edges, remnants of the previous thoughts coming in every once in a while. 

Once they get back to Logstead, Tommy plops down in his tent, looking at the ceiling. 

He doesn't feel anything anymore.


End file.
